Rihanna and the Chris Brown Dilemma

Photo courtesy: Facebook

I wanted to take out the time to state my opinion about Rihanna collaborating with Chris Brown on her Birthday Cake Remix, even if I usually don’t bring up celebrity talk on my blog.

I really liked her song so far, a lot actually, until today when I heard about the Chris Brown feature on it. Don’t get me wrong, I like both as artists on their own, but given their past I can totally NOT understand how she can have a first song feature with him in a form like this. Looks like Chris Brown was fienin’ for her cakes: “Girl, I wanna f**k you right now/ Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body,” before Rihanna responds with an even more racier verse of her own… People even speculate they are back together. She also features him on his song ” Turn up the Music Part 2″.

First of all, I don’t understand what both artists and their management were thinking about bringing out such a mix tape, when having a history of violence in their relationship. Yes, money and publicity, but seriously?! You have got to be kidding me!

I was upset pretty much the whole day about it and the more I thought about it, the more upset I got.

I am not saying that Chris Brown couldn’t have changed in the 3 years that passed since he the beat the crap out of Rihanna after the Grammy’s (and I am not saying she didn’t push all the buttons she possibly could…), and I am not saying he didn’t change. If he did, good for him. However, for both being a public figure, I don’t think you should carry out a relationship in a song like this or in any other way. The most upset I get is when I watch Rihanna’s “Oh- so- sad”, of course in- front- of- a -camera interview talking about the incident ( if you want to call it like that) and assuring that she is a role model and shouldn’t go back and act out of love!

 

There are tons of girls and woman out there in a domestic violence relationship, for whom Rihanna possible is / was a role model and a woman to look up to and give them strength to leave their violent partners.  So what are you going to tell them now Rihanna? That you couldn’t stick to your own word or that actually it’s ok that they get beaten and just forgive their partners because they might change???!!!

You don’t have to hold a grudge against him and I am not saying they shouldn’t collaborate musically at all. In a business like this it would be hard to avoid each other, it is fine to deal with it as grown ups, but to put out lyrics like this and get back into a relationship is the worst you could do. I am sure there are other partners Rihanna could find, and the relationship obviously wasn’t that great if it even came to fights like that or obvious trust issues when she had to read his text messages and him lying to her ( which was the reason for them ending up getting into the first). I know, both are just human beings and by far not perfect, which doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be a good role model. You don’t have to be perfect to stand up for values!

If she wants to prove the point you can give someone a second chance, okay, proof that point by musically collaborating in normal ways and not like this and definitely no relationship. She already said they weren’t good for each other, it was most obvious in her face, so why even rethink that decision. Both of you, as role models you shouldn’t send out signs like this, there are way too many women and girls suffering for you to go around and make it look like nothing happened! (And no, I won’t post the video up here or the song, if you want to hear it, you can do so on YouTube or somewhere else under Birthday cake)

 

Facts about Domestic Violence:

1. Domestic/dating violence (also known as intimate partner violence) is a pattern of controlling behaviors that one partner uses to get power over the other. It includes:
   • any kind of physical violence or threat of physical violence to get control
   • emotional or mental abuse, such as playing mind games, making you feel crazy, or constantly putting you down or criticizing you
   • Sexual abuse, including making you do anything you don’t want to do, refusing to have safe sex or making you feel badly about yourself sexually
2. About 95% of all domestic violence victims are female. The majority of male victims are assaulted by other men.
3. One third of American women and one quarter of women worldwide will experience domestic/dating violence in their lifetime.
4. An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Some studies say the numbers are even greater – up to 5.3 million – since most assaults go unreported.
5. Only 25% of all physical assaults perpetuated by intimate partners are reported to the police.
6. Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence.
7. On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. That’s more than 1,100 women a year.
8. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women – more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
9. One half of all homeless women in the country are fleeing from domestic violence.
10. Women are more likely to be attacked by someone they know rather than by a stranger.
11. Domestic/Dating violence costs the US $5.8 billion annually in health related costs, with $4.1 billion for victims needing medical and mental health services.

Domestic Violence Statistics

• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.

• Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.

• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

• Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

• Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.

• Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

• Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.

• Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.

• Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.

• The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.

• Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

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~ by germanbeautysabine on 02/21/2012.